Elders impact
I’ve gone down memory lane this week and spent time appreciating just how blessed I am to have made so many memories with my elders. So many memories in my 45 years earthside with my family elders, and I truly appreciate how lucky I am to not only have had all of my grandparents growing up, but also my great grandmother and even my great great grandmother until I was 14!
This past weekend we drove to Swan Hill to visit with my Nan (grandmother) who is going to be 90 later this year. It is a familiar process we go through each visit. We get lunch from the bakery and take it to her place. While we eat, we have a big catch up on what’s been happening with the kids and then they go off to play with her large collection of pig figurines and a particular soft toy that has been a favourite for each of them at some point.
Before we leave, there are the customary hugs and kisses then we take a photo out the front of the kids and Nan with her walker. As the kids have grown the youngest who began sitting on the walker seat now stands for the photo. That seat is now reserved for the little cousins who fit a little better. Each time we drive away, I reflect on just how special it is we still get to do this, and the kids have a relationship with their great grandmother. They have been able to make memories with both their great grandmothers on my side of family which is truly special.
The kids had minimal time with their great grandfathers on my side as they both died when they were young. The older two spent time with one grand father but my father died long before they were born. We are all blessed with a fantastic step-father and grandpa though and of course the best grandmothers they could ask for!
The senses are a great way to remember significant moments of time and heartfelt memories made. For example, I remember my great great grandmother and her patterned dresses sitting at her table in her home. Out the back were bee hives and fruit trees. I always remember how similar her and my great grandmother were.
My great grandmother introduced my siblings and I to jam and cream on white bread as a snack. Her beef mince stew mopped up with buttered bread can’t be beaten, I have tried! Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without her lemon cheesecake and pavlova. My cousin and I keep that tradition alive by making them for the families each year. I’m responsible for the cheesecake and I know we all think of her as we take a slice to enjoy on that one particular day. I remember feeding the chooks and collecting the eggs at her place. Enjoying the blood plums and the one day I had a plum fight out the front with my siblings only to have to wash the white car afterwards as we had made a mess of it. The chocolate velures couches, crocheted cushion covers, blown out emu eggs on the mantle and her extremely loud snoring, all stay as core memories of years spent loved and learning.
My grandfather on my mother’s side was the man among men for me. He taught me so much and was the male influence that guided me on how to love and be loved. His ‘turtle dove’ and him were together to his end. It’s great to see her live on and enjoy life as she has for so long since.
This morning as a I walked I was listening to Simon Sinek who spoke about the importance of spending time with your elders, learning from them and their experience with history, making memories and keeping the traditions alive to remember them. He went on to talk about the importance of listening.
I was flooded with the memories I have made with all of my family members and how blessed I am to have had that. I find it difficult to imagine the disconnect in family history and traditions when your elders were not alive when you were born. How would you know the effort that went into that lemon cheesecake if you never stood beside her whilst she made it? How would your parents make the link of traditions they keep up when you may not know the why in them doing it? I can only struggle with these questions because I am blessed with the abundance of love I have had from all of my family and we still make memories.
Now I may be in this head space because of my current chapter in life, but I’m not so sure. Making memories with my kids has been a core focus their entire lives. It’s why we regularly visit family, spend time with cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents and have adventures that are centered around the spending of time and the making of memories with them and us as a family.
The opportunity to go on their first overseas adventure is a prime example. We met with two family members while over there. Linked our adventures with my parents and a very very important lady (inside joke) when we got to Toronto. We made the memories as our own family nucleus and invited other family in to add to the adventure. These moments made the adventure extra special while also showing the kids they can create lives overseas and are not limited.
I also think the listening aspect is how history and traditions are kept. Stories of times and those that came before us are shared and retained when we spend time with our elders truly listening. Lessons learned before us don’t need to be learned again if we spend time and listen. It may even give us an appreciation of the views of others as they have different experiences and perspectives to us. I do think the lack of effective listening leads us to a society who believe their opinions are facts and not just what they are, our perspectives.
The differences in generations are highlighted so often on social media and are a great example of perspectives based on experiences in time that newer generations weren’t around for. Was that spoken like a true Gen X then? haha.
We are blessed to have the love, knowledge and experience of our elders and I’m grateful for my efforts to maintain the traditions and adventures we create together by spending time and listening in.
