Knee deep
I was going to go all wise and curious with questions around connecting with community this week.
Instead, I find myself knee deep in school holiday activities, creating time for friend connections, sleepovers, play dates, physical activity, family time, revisiting the need to speak nicely to each other, tech time and allocated time for boredom and imagination creation.
Trying to find the balance of snack prep, meal prep, minimal prep of anything and everything, washing and packing for one very special holiday experience for them and all the while, trying to plan our new build, maintain my business and I am not even ‘working’ just yet!
Kudos to the parents that manage to navigate and give their kids a fantastic school holiday experience whilst working their full time jobs. The planning, village and effort that must take is not lost on me. Shout out to the families who are financially struggling and are doing their best to give their time and memory making efforts to their children, all while under the greatest stressor of our society right now. You have my understanding and admiration. Single parents… well there are no words that truly describe your efforts.
I have done the work and know the importance of meditation, breathing and self-care activities for me because the overwhelm of mental load is very real. The mental load of the primary care giver (usually the mother) is indeed very real and heightened during holidays. I am no different.
Mental load and its effects on the mother have been spoken about for a while now. Maggie Dent spoke of it so well on Fitzy, Whippa and Kate summing it up as “This is the mental load we carry for the people we love.”
School holidays may slow down the day-to-day activities for a couple of weeks, but the desire to be a great parent means the level of mental load increases as we attempt to fill in the time with quality experiences and keep the household ticking over just the same.
I was reading a book yesterday (that was my ‘tech time’ break) and learned about the pre-frontal cortex and how it is where we do all the organising, planning, remembering and decision making. All I could think about at that moment was a woman’s pre-frontal cortex must be HUGE!
Then I started reflecting on the ‘desire to be a great parent’ part. Instagram is great for some random quote gold and sure enough “The reason you find parenting hard is because you want to be a good one” appeared. We can’t afford interstate adventures every holidays let alone international ones. So the mental load to ensure the kids experience new things, fun things and remain connected to their friends through play dates and sleepovers all while on a budget, is the challenge I accept each school break.
We are blessed with grandparents who live by the beach and in a small forest town for completely different adventures every time. I may tag along to the beach for my own break or they may go on their own adventures with their grandparents as is the case this time. So blessed!
Last week as part of the Future Shapers program we analysed the results of our VIA Strengths profiles. This is not the first time I have completed this profile, but it is the second time my top 5 strengths have been the same.
Love, Gratitude, Honesty, Kindness and Hope.
Gratitude is a new addition to my top 5 and a most welcome one at that. It highlights the work I have done on myself and the expanding outlook on life I now have. Whilst I am knee deep in the mental load right now of school holidays and making sure my children have great experiences; I am finding more moments to be grateful for.
Morning walks in the sun with my dog, Dusty. Reading in quiet as the kids have their allocated tech time. Recognising the rush we usually live in and the luxury of a break in routine to slow down. The fun of singing in the car together as we drive around doing chores. The sound of laughter as my kids share time with their friends. The ingenuity of my son and his friend to upgrade a bike they obtained for free. And the immense gratitude I have for our parents who are just the greatest grandparents our kids could have and are still here to share with them.
So, nothing earth shattering or so wise you could call me Yoda this week. Just honesty, a little overwhelm and a hell of a lot of Gratitude.
