Bravery Vs Failing
One’s perspective on whether something is a failure or a sign of bravery is just that. A perspective.
The Cambridge Dictionary says failure is “the fact of someone or something not succeeding”. Now I am going to take issue with the word ‘fact’ as ‘feeling like a failure’ is open to interpretation.
Setting a goal such as a career choice, physical challenge, who you want to be when you grow up, or making sure you do what is expected of you all your life, can all be set in stone to be achieved and thus be the opposite of failure. You can move along in life ticking the boxes of the goals set before you, looking at is as success or the avoidance of failure. Whether you are enjoying the process, the outcomes, or feel fulfilled along the way is a different story. But I guess because you are ticking the boxes, you are seen as succeeding.
So, when life goes wrong, the boxes can’t be ticked, fulfillment isn’t there, or the injury becomes a detriment to completing the challenge, one perspective is to see it as failure. You can remain moving along, unfulfilled, lost in the process. You can make the call, draw a line in the sand, use your voice to ask for a divorce, or pull out of the university degree because it is not for you, and you can still view all of this as failure.
But here’s where the perspective comes in. It could be failing. OR it could be bravery.
The brave stop and make the hard calls. The brave draw the line in the sand of what they will no longer continue to do, to their detriment. The brave make the difficult decision to break the family unit as they seek fulfillment and happiness too. The brave withdraw from the university course to follow a new uncertain path that lights them up. The brave close the business and take the fall, all the while looking toward what life will look like on the other side of the hardship. The brave pack up their life and family and move to a new state for uncertain adventures. The brave create new sets of tick boxes and are prepared to move the goal posts as becomes necessary to achieve their version of success.
It is the brave who accept when things aren’t working and change needs occur. Sure, you could still say you ‘failed’ at something. But in order for it to become ‘fact’ you must see it as not succeeding. A change in direction, speaking up, no longer willing to live life unfulfilled to meet others’ expectations is not failing. It’s bravery in acceptance and wanting a different path. It is embracing the hard times of uncertainty and doing it anyway.
Tony Robbins said, “Success without fulfillment, is failure.” Living that life and moving along sticking to the tick boxes, without a light shining inside you, could be failure. Living unfulfilled is definitely not success. The only failure is not learning lessons from the challenges you face and being brave enough to acknowledge them as you seek fulfillment in uncertainty. The bravery you show to ensure your life turns out different to it’s original plan and still chase success and fulfillment is what lights you up. You may be head strong in where you want to go and are willing to accept you will lose people who can’t keep up along the way. You are brave.
At least, that’s my perspective.
