Saying sorry.
Back in May as part of the Committee for Ballarat Future Shapers Community Leadership program, we were taken to Langi Kal Kal prison on an empathy mapping day. We met some of the dedicated staff, went on a tour, gained unique insight into the system via the lived experience of Stacey Stokes (an FS alumni) and the most impactful part of the day, empathy mapping with 5 inmates who shared their stories.
To get the most out of this experience, I went in with an open mind and was ready for whatever comes up for me on the day. It was definitely a worthwhile experience that has left a mark on me, which is why I am sharing about it a month later.
As a reflection task, we were asked to write the inmates a letter on how the day and their stories have been received. I thought it would be easiest to share the impact left on me by sharing the letter below.
To Tyson, Daniel, Glen, Eddy and Rob,
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say.
For some it is a word they simply can not utter as it means they are at fault, have weakness, are less than, or don’t live up to a reputation. For others, the ability to say sorry shows integrity, sincerity, openness and empathy.
Saying sorry to others around you is a big deal as you grow. Saying sorry to yourself though, that is the biggest deal of all. Saying sorry to yourself shows you are open, vulnerable, courageous and ready to rise from where you have been.
From the time I spent with you and as I heard your stories, I could hear that you had all said sorry to yourselves.
You had given yourselves permission to acknowledge where you had come from, how you got to where you were and where you find yourself now, with kindness and compassion.
I applaud you all for that.
I am often surrounded by those who self develop, dive deep into themselves to find the soul searching empowerment they seek. Whether they are psychologists, doctors, teachers or coaches like me, we are all seeking the same.
I came to Langi Kal Kal with an open mind but did not expect to find empowerment seekers who had broken themselves down and begun building themselves back up in such an isolated way. A welcomed surprise that fills me with admiration.
Everyone has their reason for being there. Everyone has their own motivation for how they will exist when they leave the place.
But I want to thank all of you for showcasing the mutual respect that exists between yourselves and the staff.
Thank you for sharing your hearts when you spoke of your family and friends.The importance of time was two fold for me.
The wishing of time to go oh so fast so you could be with those that love you once more. And the hope that time slows down just enough to allow you to complete the growth you seek, to be better equipped when tackling the hard stuff as you leave. I wish nothing but the best for you all. Enjoy that special time you have longed for with your family, especially your children.
I wish you strength when you face the hard stuff. Compassion when you get to a cross road and courage to keep looking forward and not backwards.
Warmest Regards,
Lee.
The irony of this day is the surprise I experienced as I realised there were prisoners doing the work. They were soul searching just as I have done and are working on bettering themselves, becoming empowered and being better examples for their families. Yet this is probably the place not just in location but in life experience, where self-development is the most important.
Once this realisation hit, the programs and urgency for them to be on offer for inmates nearing the end of their sentence was of paramount importance to me. The benefits of personal development, breaking yourself down and building yourself back up, could not be more important for handling tough things in life, than that of a released prisoner who has done their time, deserves their next chance and does not want to return.
It has stayed with me which means I must explore it more. Where it will lead, I am not certain. But I will lead with empathy and curiosity.
