The power of NO
When we are toddlers we want what we want and we know what we don’t want.
We pout, shout, throw food and stomp our feet when we don’t want to do, eat or share something. If an adult is trying to help us with something and we want to do it ourselves, without hesitation we say No!
Usually followed with “I(‘ll) do it myself!” Well at least that’s what I experienced 3 times over.
Beautifully honest communication and the ability to say NO without a moment of pause.
My friend Jess wrote a beautiful read on the importance of saying YES to opportunities and how showing up in the times you say yes to something, leads to the exciting adventures of growth.
I am also a person who says Yes to adventures and opportunities for growth and I’m here for it if it is of benefit to you.
But when do we lose the ability to say no to things that don’t serve us along the way? How does that come about? Is it part of societal conditioning? I’m leaning towards yes.
So many of us say yes to the needs and wants of others to our own detriment.
We load up our schedule, work tasks, social activities, roles in the home, friendships, relationships to meet the expectations of others, all the while letting our own needs and wants go to the way side.
When did we learn that NO was not the thing to say? Sure as parents we say it often as we try to equip our children with the skills to be effective adults and contributors to the community.
But why don’t we say NO to the ‘friend’ who leaves us drained as it is a one sided relationship?
Why don’t we say NO to the extra tasks at work as the team is reduced or the company should hire, but don’t and demands fall on the efficient workers?
Why don’t we say NO to the extra mental load and uneven division of household chores at home?
Why don’t we say NO to loading our schedules so heavily we count down the minutes until we can go to bed and the day is done?
The great news is, we can revert back to being the toddlers we once were and learn to say NO with a much more restrained method of delivery.
Re-learning to say NO to things that don’t serve your needs is empowering.
It gives you the space to do more of what fills your cup and serves your happiness.
Your time is your most precious resource. It’s the only resource we don’t know how much we have.
Whilst it is daunting to be brave that first few times as you say NO, you feel so much lighter as you take back your power, time and space to do what works for you.
If you need a place to start, a list of what people, tasks or activities you wish to say NO to is as good as any.
