The good bits
As always in this adventure I call life, I am finding the good.
There are good bits to cancer treatment. I really mean that. Not bits that I forcefully find, but bits I easily acknowledge.
You know the saying “sleep when the baby sleeps”? It’s the advice they give new mums on the arrival of their first child. Yeah well I didn’t do that. I couldn’t do that. I was cleaning, doing the washing, folding the laundry, cooking, anything that would make the next step easier when they awoke from their sleep. I was very much in the mindset that in order to be strong and successful in this parenting gig, I had to keep pushing. To keep going. Rest was for the ‘weak’ and I wasn’t going to be that.
But being nearly 14 years older than when I first became a Mum, a lot about me and the world has changed. In this cancer treatment era, I have surrendered to resting. Naps are at least once a day, sometimes twice and on a couple of occasions in the past 7 weeks, there were 3 naps in one day and still slipping straight off to sleep at night!
The key word is surrender. I’m able to do that now and feel like I must. I no longer see rest as a sign of weakness. I view rest as a necessity. My body thanks me for the mind catching up.
The fatigue from treatment is next level. To continue on the parenting/pregnancy theme, I distinctly remember the tiredness or fatigue in the infancy of being pregnant. It was the baseline for tired that I have measured most things by since. The pain of childbirth is the measuring stick these days too. It makes it hard to give a rating when they are asking about pain on a scale from 1 to 10. Nothing seems as hard as childbirth. The fatigue in this adventure has definitely escalated and reached another level to measure from.
There are other good bits too. I appreciate all the good bits as I make it a practice to find the good and look for the lessons.
Some of the good bits I have taken note of:
Permission to say NO is in full swing. No need to feel any guilt because your body just isn’t up for it and you are being vulnerable and honest when we say No. A statement said with strength.
Time is saved in the shower these days as I no longer need to shave my legs. BIG win!
I save money too as I no longer need to manage the washing of my hair around events or important things I want it out and naturally curly for. No need to stock up on my specific curly girl method hair care products too.
There is no need to wear makeup most days. Looking after my skin with extra special sunscreens and moisturisers is now my priority. Along with a MASSIVE hat with all of the coverage (imagine my hand waving around the perimeter of my head in full exaggeration as you read this).
When Gus Martin, my PT (no relation) tries to joke and put me of by yelling for an armpit check, I don’t even bother. Nothing to see under there buddy but a scar from the biopsy sample.
Induced menopause. YEP! I am grateful for that believe it or not. So much to say on this topic but that is for another time.
I had worked on reducing and eliminating alcohol throughout 2025 and now cancer treatment is a great catalyst for this to finally occur. The chemotherapy is poison enough for my body. No need to add any extra to my system.
Sleeping on a silk pillowcase. This is the ideal for curly hair, but I never got around to using it. I have no idea how others with shaved heads don’t use them. My hair or should I say “prickles” as the kids call it, was getting stuck on the cotton pillowcase and even hurt. Now I sleep with my fantastic Ecosa pillow wrapped in a silk pillowcase each night. Bliss. Nope I am not a paid sponsor for any of this. I just enjoy them as simple things.
The good bits absolutely include the people who show you they are your village as they; reach out, show up, check in, shave in support, prepare meals and provide support for not only me but my family as we go through this together. The Aussie way is in full swing in my village. When times are tough and the chips are down, those in my village remind me we are loved and come together to pitch in and help.
A funny side note about habit and change. Each night as I go to bed, I begin to think about taking my scrunchie out of my hair before my head hits the pillow. A habit developed over many years. I did buy some of my favourite scrunchies some months ago from Kleg Design, but they still have their tags on. One day I will need them again. But until then, I just have a little chuckle as my mind goes through the process or habit of doing this action in order to go to bed.
There are some shitty things about cancer treatment. I mean the fact that it is even required is pretty shitty really. There are side effects that affect everyone differently and I am glad so far (touch wood), I have minimal. Fatigue is my biggest side effect, along with blood noses that result in a difficulty to breathe during sleep, but I am resolving this. I need to resolve this issue. The first three weeks of treatment, I was enjoying the sleep, feeling like this was the sleep I was missing during perimenopause for years! I want that back. Anything that comes along as we go deeper into treatment, I will deal with as it comes.
The benefits of my mindset to ‘find the good’, gives me greater strength to get through the shitty times. To quote a newfound inspiration who is Kath Koschel, - “Strength is not self- sufficiency, it’s self-respect.” My mindset to find the good and learn the lessons is showing myself - respect. I am strong because I know who I am, I show myself love and respect, and I show kindness and grace towards myself. This all adds to my determination and to the affirmation that “I am healthy, I am loved and I am well.” I will beat this disease.
It is all in finding the good.
